I have always been someone people fear.
There is a strictness in my personality, something that has become a habit.
I have very few friends, and even with them, every word is measured and careful.
This has been true since childhood—at school, college, and now in the office.
No boy ever had the courage to talk to me directly.
At the office, it is even more noticeable.
People call me “Stern Madam.”
I know they say it behind my back,
but I never let it bother me.
I thought, “Okay, just focus on work. That’s enough.”
The Boy Who Liked Me
But there was one person in the office who liked me.
I could feel his glances, though he never had the courage to speak.
From office gossip, I already knew he liked me.
Still, I always ignored him.
Maybe I never knew how to let someone get close to me.
Then one day, he finally tried to overcome his hesitation.
It seemed like his courage had awakened.
That day, I was alone in the office corridor.
Suddenly, he appeared in front of me.
I looked at him and, in my usual strict tone, said:
“What is it? Speak.”
He got nervous and stammered:
“N-nothing… just some work, I forgot.”
I glared at him and said:
“Think ten times before saying anything random, okay?”
He left, helpless.
After that, he even stopped looking at me from afar.
Poor guy—my strictness had broken his courage.
My Realization
But this wasn’t the first time I wondered why I was like this.
Why is strictness always my first reaction?
Why do I always push people away?
Now, thinking about that day, I feel angry at myself.
Why did I make him feel that way?
Why did my harshness push him further away?
Honestly, now I wait for his glances.
But he stays far away, as if I don’t exist.
Maybe I am wrong.
My strictness has become a burden.
I ask myself—am I really so harsh that no one can share their feelings with me?
Or am I trapped inside my own walls?
I wish I had listened to him gently that day.
Maybe then he would have spoken freely.
Now I regret my harshness, but maybe it is too late.
Thinking About Him
In the office, I never saw him chatting like others.
He always stayed focused on work, as if nothing else mattered.
I, too, spoke only to a few colleagues,
while the rest kept their distance.
But now, thinking about him gives me a strange restlessness.
I want to know what he thinks, how he feels.
Did my strict words hurt him?
Or did he choose to ignore me completely?
I am curious to know who he really is inside.
Is he truly as kind as I always thought?
I never thought much about him before,
but now I remember him every day.
Every time I recall his calm eyes and hesitant face,
I feel like I lost a precious connection.
I wish I had softened my tone that day.
I wish I had listened.
Thinking about it now, my heart feels heavy.
Finding Courage
I am tired of my own strict nature.
But this image is something I created, and breaking out of it is not easy.
Every day when I see him, his face affects me deeply.
He avoids my gaze.
I want to stop him, talk to him,
but whenever the moment comes, my lips remain sealed.
One day, I decided enough was enough.
I would put my pride and hesitation aside.
I saw him in the office corridor, buried in files.
I calmed my heartbeat, gathered courage,
and slowly walked toward him with a smile:
“Hi.”
He was surprised to see me.
For a few moments, it felt like time had stopped.
Then a small smile appeared on his lips.
He replied softly:
“Hi.”
The End
This story shows how strictness can hide our feelings,
and how a little courage can change everything.